The Purity Project of OKC

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which trancends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.  Philippians 4:6-7 (NIV)

People who have sexual addictions and compulsions, such as the constant viewing of internet pornography, do so for a reason.  They have an inner pain yet to be faced. Rather than examine what’s hurting on the inside, they medicate with sexual pleasure and live in denial about what they are doing. The longer they do this the more pain they create for themselves as grief, shame and blame mount up.  Christ wants to heal our inner condition and stop the cycle pain we keep inflicting upon ourselves.  He wants to replace it with the peace of God.

At the height of my addiction, I was viewing waaaaay to much pornography every day.  I would drink in the images when my wife was mad at me; when I had a bad day; when I needed to unwind; when I was bored; when I was sad; when I couldn’t sleep; when my wife wasn’t sexually responsive; and most of the time, I would view it when I had no understanding of why I was viewing it. That’s what an addiction is all about–habitually resorting to a sensless dysfunction to cope with unhappiness.   Does any of this sound familiar to you?

This scripture in Philippians 4:6-7 has a message for us.  God wants us to tell him about every thing that makes us anxious.  He wants us to tell him about the reasons behind our “using.”  He wants us to bring it to him so that he can heal us.  He says that when we are anxious, we are to pray, petition and give Him thanks. 

I did not operate this way in the past. I never talked to God when my wife was mad at me; when I had a bad day; when I needed to unwind; when I was bored; when I was sad; when I couldn’t sleep; when my wife wasn’t sexually responsive; and most of all, when I had no understanding about why I was “using” so much pornography.  Perhaps that’s why I stayed addicted so long. 

I never would have thought that God would care about something as insignificant (or so I thought) as my petty problems.  Since I didn’t ask God to solve them, I resorted to my own way–using pornography as an escape.  Though at first it seemed exciting, my way eventually brought me to ruin.  God’s way, as told to us in Philippians,  offers a much better solution.  Turn our problems over to Him. When we do this, we actually face our problems, instead of running from them as I was doing, and ask God to help us.

I remember well, the day I finally asked myself this question, “Can I trust God to take care of all my needs?”  “Even my sexual needs?”  I remember that, “You’ve got to be kidding me” feeling I had as I came to the realization that God really did want to take care of all of my needs–even my sexual needs!  When I realized this, I knew that God not only expected me to give up using pornography; but in its place, he expected me to bring my concerns to him and know that he would manage every one of my needs–including my physical ones.  I remember thinking, “What have I got to lose?”  But the answer came almost as quickly, my soul!  My life was a wreck.  I had done so many things wrong.  I hardly knew how to start; but, I knew I had to turn my life over to Christ and make Him the LORD of my life.

I have turned my life over to Christ now.  My entire life –even my sex life.  I trust Him to fully care for my needs.  Guess what?  He’s doing an amazing job.  I’m not problem free; but, I’m so much better than I’ve ever been.  I don’t pray much about my sex life anymore.  I’ve come to trust in God’s care.  He’s doing fine–and so am I.