First Steps
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First, let us say we’re glad and honored you’re checking out this website. You’re taking the first step towards freedom from pornography – unfortunately, many guys never get this far. The Purity Project of Oklahoma City is a safe place to find help, encouragement, and support in experiencing victory and healing in your struggle with pornography and other forms of sexual brokenness. We’re a group of men who’ve experienced brokenness, pornography and sexual addiction, and numerous other addictions, but are now on the healing and recovery journey. Some of us are further along than others, but, as a brotherhood united in our weaknesses and bound together by God’s grace, we are discovering together the power of His healing light.
As you get started on this journey, we want you to know this simple truth we’ve all had to recognize and accept: victory and healing are not found in trying harder, making better promises, covenants, or more sincere commitments to God, your spouse, or yourself. We’ve all been there; we’ve all tried that – many of us for years, and we’ve all discovered that this struggle, this problem, this sin, had bested us. We were and are powerless to beat this on our own. When we accepted this understanding – I can’t beat this, but God can, recovery began.
It’s with this in mind that we share with you these steps. You likely came to this website because you are at least curious, quite possibly desperate, to figure out how to stop engaging in porn or other sexual compulsions. These beginning steps are not a formula; they’re not necessarily intended to even be followed in order. These are steps which all of us, either in part or in full, have taken on the road to freedom. We invite you to start the journey here as well.
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Talk to someone here at the Purity Project of Oklahoma City
You can send us an e-mail with your question or just to ask for some encouragement and prayer. You could also give us a call on the confidential phone line – likely you’ll leave a message, and someone will call you back shortly. By taking this step, you can begin to talk confidentially with men who are walking the same journey – just maybe a little further down the path. Our experience has been – as we begin to open up and talk about our struggles, what we’re going through, our weaknesses, temptations, and failures – that we experience grace and not judgment… from each other and from God.
Some of the strongest chains which keep us trapped in pornography and other forms of sexual brokenness are the ones of shame and guilt. We have all thought the best way to deal with these feelings was to isolate ourselves and try to keep our struggle a secret. These chains only begin to be severed, though, as we move out of our self-imposed isolation and into the light of others. Just trust us on this – you will not find judgment and condemnation – you’re going to find others who can identify with and understand where you are, what you’re feeling, and best of all, others who can begin to shine a light on the way out.
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Tell a trusted friend about your struggle.
Yes – we know this is a huge step. It’s a step everyone one of us was afraid to take at first, but we have all found it to be absolutely necessary. We have each tried to fix ourselves without anyone else knowing – and those efforts all failed. The struggle with porn and other sex-related issues maintains incredible power over us while it stays in the dark, confined to our hearts and souls. There is something about telling another person which begins to crack open a door allowing God’s healing light to begin to shine into our lives. Every one of us began our search for help hoping to find a private solution to our private problem. Let us just tell you from experience , this private solution doesn’t exist! If you don’t have a trusted friend, pastor, etc. you can talk to, talk with one of the guys here at Purity Project – begin there. As scary as this act of honesty seems, let us assure you, grace is on the other side.
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Stop feeding your mind with Radical Amputation.
Get rid of all sources of porn and sexual immorality that are in your home, office, car and computers. Cancel your subscriptions to magazines and cable services–even the soft stuff! Destroy every DVD, magazine, vidotape, book, advertisement, catalog or anything you can think of that remotely feeds your sexual compulsion. Don’t just throw them out where someone else might find them–destroy them. Burn them if you can. If you can, throw away your old hard drives and buy new ones. Start with new operating systems so that you won’t be tempted to go back. Cancel secret e-mail accounts. Walk away from any improper relationship. Don’t go back and try to explain yourself to anyone–just turn and walk away.
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Get internet accountability
Most of us knew we needed to take this step, but most of us delayed doing anything about it because, ultimately, it would mean we actually had to face up to and deal with our problem.
Internet accountability is crucial to freedom as it brings our internet usage out of the dark and into the light of someone else’s knowledge. Internet accountability software sends a report to one or two individuals of your choosing of any questionable websites you visit. This is an outstanding resource which has served as a crucial boundary for all of us at PurityProject.
Yes, these resources may cost you a little money – but they’re worth it. Let’s face it – if you don’t get one or both of these resources, you’ll likely spend that money on porn within a month’s time anyway. Make this initial investment in freedom!
Here are some excellent places to begin: Covenant Eyes and XXX Church.
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Join a support group.
This is a foundation of PurityProjectOKC. This was the beginning place for most of us in our recovery journey. And yes, for each of us, walking into that meeting for the first time was a terrifying experience – but we’d all agree it’s one of the best things we’ve ever done. Below we’ve listed meeting times and locations in the Oklahoma City area. If you live outside the Oklahoma City area, we’ve listed a link to help you find a group near where you live.
These groups hold and maintain a strict confidentiality. They are a safe place you can come, hear other guys being open and honest about their struggles and successes in overcoming porn, and, most of all, experience grace, encouragement, and the first breath of freedom.
DEL CITY
Destiny Men of Freedom,
- Tuesdays at 7 pm,
- Destiny Christian Church,
- 3801 SE 29th, Del City, Oklahoma 73115
- Contact rpvpilot2000@yahoo.com
EDMOND
Celebrate Recovery,
- Mondays at 6:30 PM,
- Henderson Hills Baptist Church
- 1200 E. I-35 FRONTAGE ROAD EDMOND, OK
Men of Freedom
- Wednesday at 7:30 PM
- Room 206
- Henderson Hills Baptist Church
- 1200 E. I-35 FRONTAGE ROAD
Partners in Progress, (This is a companion group for the wives of men who attend Men of Freedom)
- Wednesdays at 7:30 PM, Room 205
- Henderson Hills Baptist Church
- 1200 E. I-35 FRONTAGE ROAD EDMOND, OK
OKLAHOMA CITY
Celebrate Recovery
- Fridays from 7 - 9 pm
- Memorial Road Church of Christ
- 2221 EAST MEMORIAL ROAD
Got Your Back
- Mondays at 6:30 pm
- Lakeview Park Church of the Nazarene
- 3500 NW 5OTH
Twelve Step: A Spiritual Journey (new groups forming)
- Real Church
- 11911 N. PENN, OKC, OK
- journey@realchurch.tv
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Start Counseling
None of us are therapists – professional, licensed, or otherwise. We are not psychologists or psychiatrists. Some of us have utilized professional counselors to help us in our recovery journey while others have not found it necessary. If you’re interested in finding a counselor, we’d be glad to refer you to some counselors/therapists in the OKC area or to those who offer counseling by phone.
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Start your God journey.
When we take something out of our life we must fill it with something else. It’s a spiritual law that “the something else” must be more powerful than the thing that once had us in its grip. God is the ultimate power source who frees us from everything that is holding us back. We need God’s power in our life to help us overcome the struggles that are ahead. Many of us had idea of how to connect with this power or what we should do–even though many of us had been raised in very religious families. There is a difference between religious traditions and being connected to real spiritual power that frees us from the porn and sexual problems we face in life. If you are not already a member of a church that can help you, consider becoming a member of one.
