The Purity Project of OKC

by Luke Gilkerson, Blog Editor for Covenant Eyes

Accountability is one of the foundational principles of Covenant Eyes. Our software is a tool that allows people to take another step in vulnerability and honesty.

What Christian men and women often think about when they hear “accountability” is a small group sitting in a circle discussing their failures and addictions. They may picture a late night phone call to another struggling brother to confess the latest blunder. For those who need to get their sins into the open, this type of accountability can be therapeutic.

Peer accountability and support groups can be helpful, but many times these situations end up being “the blind leading the blind.” Confession of failure is expected in these settings, but lasting change is often not expected. I’m not talking about the quality accountability that helps people get to the root of their temptations or addictions and uses the Word of God to transform thinking. I’m talking about the kind of minimal “accountability” that serves more as a way to ease one’s conscience, like a band-aid over a cancerous lump.

If you have tried accountability and still find yourself gripped by Internet temptation or addiction, read on . . .

Steve Gallagher writes,

“It may surprise the reader to find out that the word ‘accountability’ is not mentioned once in the Bible. The concept is in Scripture, but not in the weak way in which it is currently used today. Instead, the biblical concept is that of being discipled. I am not referring to more information about Christianity. Listening to good sermons and reading interesting books can be helpful, but what the immature Christian needs most is for a mature saint to take him under his wing, so to speak, and bring godly instruction into his life.” (At the Altar of Sexual Idolatry)

Being “discipled” is a powerful concept, and a misunderstood concept today. In Jesus’ day the rabbis would take talmidim (Hebrew for “disciples”) under their wing. These disciples followed their spiritual leader and teacher everywhere he went. Their objective was not to simply be good students of his teaching, but to become mirrors of his life. A student merely wants to know what the teacher knows. A disciple wants to BE who his teacher IS.

Jesus invested most of His ministry building character into a small group of men. They were unlike the crowds. The crowds could walk away merely thinking of what Jesus said; the disciples came face-to-face with the truth of Jesus’ words and were expected to live differently.

Often, the reason why discipleship doesn’t happen in today’s church is because there are too few Christlike models who take young men and women under their wing the same way Jesus did. We are called to make disciples of the nations (Matthew 28:18-20), yet there are too few disciplers. We are not called to make others into Scriptures-scholars (although the Bible is indispensable in discipleship). We are not called to make sermon-listeners. We are not called to make church volunteers and laborers. We are called to make disciples.

This means we are meant to have spiritual mentors in our midst who can say along with Paul, “Imitate me as I imitate Christ” (1 Corinthians 11:1). Do you know anyone today who can say this with the confidence of Paul? Make no mistake: Paul was sinful. He had his problems. But we see here his Hebrew understanding of discipleship coming out-we are meant to follow living, breathing, mature, albeit flawed, examples of Jesus if we are to become like Jesus. This is what the church is designed for.

What solution does the Bible offer to those caught in sexual sin, to the overwhelmed and trapped? Galatians 6:1-2 gives the answer: “Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. . . . Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” For those caught in the grip of sin, more than accountability is needed. We need those whom Paul called the “spiritual” to take on the ministry of restoration. This term, “restore” (katartizo), was a medical term for setting a broken bone. In our sinful, fractured selves, the work of a spiritual person is to set right broken thoughts and beliefs with the tenderness and wisdom of a spiritual doctor. The same word translated “restore” is the root for the term used in in Ephesians 4, “And He [Christ] gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the pastors and teachers, to EQUIP the saints for the work of ministry, for building up the body of Christ . . .” (Ephesians 4:11-12, ESV). Christ has given His church Christian leaders and mentors as gifts, the true spiritual elders and shepherd of the church, to restore the broken, and thus equip them to live as the body of Christ.

And who are the “spiritual” mentioned in Galatians 6:1? Those who have a track record of walking in the Spirit (Galatians 5:25), who have lasting fruit of Christlike character (5:22-23), who have eagerly waited on the Lord for righteousness to bloom in their life and have found Him faithful (5:5). They are spiritual leaders who hear from God regularly, obey His voice, and effectively model intimacy with God. They are the true elders and leaders who are experienced in healing the hurts caused by sin (James 5:13-16). They may not hold the status of “elder” at a church (many do not), but they are a true mentor in the faith.

Discipleship also has a human dimension. The fellowship of the church is meant to be a new family: multiple generations of believers teaching one another. Disciples of Jesus seek to walk with the wise that they too might become wise.

In his book, The Silence of Adam, Dr. Larry Crabb shares his dream for the church:

“I see a few groups scattered here and there, across the Christian landscape, where godly character and spiritual wisdom are more honored than degrees and skill, and more valued than achievement and expertise. . . .

“In my dream, I see these people doing something that very few are doing today in real life. I see them walking past the office that has a shingle advertising a professional whose training guarantees technical competence but not godly character. I see them returning books to the shelf of the Christian bookstore: the books with jackets that falsely promise now what only heaven will later provide. I see them picking up a flyer promoting the seminar everyone is talking about, looking at it, then putting it down.

“I see these people stumbling into the living room of a lonely widow, making their way to the coffee shop to spend a couple hours with the tired widower, knocking on the door of a study where someone waits who is clothed with humility and eager for heaven, someone who is unself-consciously faithful as he warmly points to Christ.

“I envision a generation in which mentors are not in such short supply, in which pastors and elders are once again held in high esteem because they pastor and elder, in which Christian leaders are no longer asked to manage ministries the way executives build corporations, but rather are revered as men of godly influence. If I look hard into my dream, I can see an army of wise men and women distributed among God’s people, armed only with gentle discernment and penetrating wisdom, character qualities that have been forged in the fires of suffering. . . . These men are FATHERS, these women are MOTHERS, godly people whose quiet presence is felt and valued.” (Dr. Larry Crabb, The Silence of Adam)

This dream has come to pass in small pockets of the church, but it is not widespread. This is one of our dreams at Covenant Eyes. We believe it is also the very dream of Christ for His kingdom.

Where are we to start? We start by seeking these people out.

Where do we look?

Start by finding a good Bible-teaching church with a multi-generational makeup. This is becoming less and less popular in our highly specialized ministry culture. We have peer groups for everything in the church, program upon program: groups for men, women, husbands, fathers, wives, mothers, single-mothers, seniors, teens, pre-teens, college-age, career-builders, young parents, divorced, remarried, dog-trainers, fishmongers, butchers, bakers, and candlestick-makers. None of these life-stage or common-interest groups are inherently bad; but as we begin to buy into this sort of ministry culture, we also begin to believe that these groups have little to nothing to offer each other. Nothing could be further from the truth.

I like the apostle John’s description of the church, a church of spiritual children, young men, and fathers.

“I am writing to you, little children,
because your sins are forgiven for his name’s sake.
I am writing to you, fathers,
because you know him who is from the beginning.
I am writing to you, young men,
because you have overcome the evil one.
I write to you, children,
because you know the Father.
I write to you, fathers,
because you know him who is from the beginning.
I write to you, young men,
because you are strong,
and the word of God abides in you,
and you have overcome the evil one.” (1 John 2:12-14)

The church is full of little children in the faith, those who have come to know God as Father, Abba, because they have been recently adopted into Christ’s family through the forgiveness of their sins. These children have a fresh love for Jesus. Then there are the young men (and women) in the faith-those who have learned to fight temptation, stand up for Jesus in adversity, and overcome the deceptions of the evil one-all because the word of God dwells richly in them. Finally there are the fathers (and mothers) in the faith who know intimately “him who is from the beginning,” Jesus Christ Himself. They, like Paul, are the aged and experienced, and after a long life of obedience say with Paul that their one desire is to know Christ (Philippians 3:10).

We children need the young men to come alongside us, take us with them into battle and show us how to brandish the sword of the Spirit, the Word of God. We children and young men need the fathers of the church so that we can hear their wisdom, so we can see the fire in their eyes that comes from sitting a lifetime at the Master’s feet.

If you are an aspiring spiritual father, look for that lonely college student in the church who shows some promise. If you are a young adult, find that high schooler who sits in the back of the sanctuary and take him out to lunch with your family. If you are a grandfather, find the single-mother who could desperately use a strong father figure. If you are a sin-struggling teen, find a knowledgeable older man or woman who has some life behind them.

Choose to be a part of a church that still believes that gray hair is a crown of glory (Proverbs 16:31) not just a sign of stress. Together let’s take on the ministry of restoring damaged souls as true brothers and fathers. Let’s be disciple-makers.