The Purity Project of OKC

Time spent with pornography can add up in a big way.

Internet pornography is a big time waster. Little bits of time here and there can add up considerably. Think about this: if a person averaged fifteen minutes a day viewing porn–

• In one week they would spend one hour and forty-five minutes a week of time.
• In one month they would spend seven and one half hours of time.
• In one year they would spend 90 hours of time–which is the equivalent of three full days–plus an additional eighteen hours. Another way of looking at this would is to note that this would be the equivalent of a little more than eleven working days of eight hours each. (Read on …)

Addictive behaviors don’t just happen spontaneously; there are specific causes behind them. We call these addictive triggers. According to Dr. Archibald Hart, an addictive trigger is a “Starting Stimulus” that begins the process that eventually leads us to act out on our addiction. For those who struggle with sexual addictions and compulsions, these triggers can be very subtle. We may wonder why we find ourselves constantly noticing women in the cars next to us when we aren’t even trying to notice anyone, or find ourselves flirting with waitresses or cashiers for unexplained reasons. Without an understanding of the dynamics causing all of this, we will find ourselves being triggered from one episode to another with little or no control over what is happening to us. Triggers differ from person to person and from addictive behavior to addictive behavior. Often the roots of these trigger mechanisms can be traced to experiences we disliked as a child. Here are some common triggers:

• anxiety
• isolation
• boredom
• depression
• crises
• sense of failure
• unmet sexual needs
• criticism
• selfish needs

According to Hart, there are many other possible triggers for addictive behavior. In fact, anything that threatens failure, rejection, or abandonment can become a stimulus for an addiction cycle. Add to this the personality traits of passivity, under-assertiveness, or dependency, and you have a powerful set of addictive triggers. (Read on …)

Discovering that your husband is using porn can be a very disappointing and discouraging moment for many women. It is a time that brings about many unanswered questions. The purpose of this article is to answer some of the most common questions about what you should say and do. (Read on …)

Here is a statement that may seem radical to some, “It is going to take a miracle for you to be free of porn and sexual compulsions.” Several years ago I probably would have scoffed at anyone who said such a thing; but, after being caught in a serious porn addiction for more than 15 years, I believe I am more than qualified to vouch for the truth of that statement. Quitting porn is a three-way partnership between you, God, and people who are trained to help you. Though there are things you can do, you will not be able to do it all on your own. And other people can’t do it for you. So, how does this three way partnership work? The answer is very simple: We must do all that we can do for ourselves so that God can work his miracles in our lives. The first thing we should do is practice accountability. The next step is radical amputation. (Read on …)

Last week a young man was sitting in my office. He’s a young college man, about 19 years of age and seems to have everything in the world going for him. He has exceptional good looks, great health, intelligence, and before long will have a college degree. So what’s wrong? He’s also addicted to porn and says that it’s been a problem for him for the past eight years. According to his story, he’s tried to break this habit on numerous occassions. He’s made numerous promises to God and himself, stopped cold turkey a number of times, and once talked with a youth pastor. Because he’s a religious guy, he feels miserable and believes that he’s let God down. I asked him if he’d ever thought about joining a support group. He replied, “I have, but I’m not sure I really belong, I don’t think I’m as sick as they are.” I think every person who has ever fought an addiction can relate to the statement of that young man. To us our addiction is more of a pesky problem than a serious illness of the soul. Denial keeps us from admitting we have a problem and doing what we need to do in order to get better. (Read on …)